Quotes

On Sacrifice

Posted on by Seung Chan Lim 0

When we
hyper-empathize,
the distinctions and boundaries
between “self”
and “other”
vanish.

So when we feel
the “other”—
be it a person,
a thing,
or an idea—
is in danger,
it feels as if we
are in danger.

This makes it natural
for us to throw ourselves
onto incoming traffic
to save the lives
of such
an other.

To us,
this does not feel
like a sacrifice.

It merely feels
as if it’s a universal
human
reflex.

So much so
that sometimes
we think the other
would have done the same
for us.

Whether or not
that is true
is beside
the point.

Starting with the “Other”

Posted on by Seung Chan Lim 0

Within what we call
our “self.”
there are many
“others.”

“Others,”
we aren’t fully aware.

“Others,”
we don’t fully understand.

“Others,”
we don’t fully appreciate.

I often hear people say
empathy
is about the “other.”

If so,
may our pursuit of empathy
begin
with the recognition
that our understanding of empathy
will become more clear
as the separation between “self” and “other”
becomes less clear.

Alone Time

Posted on by Seung Chan Lim 0

We often say
we need
“alone time,”
when what we mean
is we need
“connection time.”

A time,
when we can feel connected
to nature,
to an imaginary character,
to a singer who seems to understand
what we’re going through,
to our thoughts and emotions
through an author
who is willing to help us
reflect.

Am I Doing Enough?

Posted on by Seung Chan Lim 0

When it feels
as if we’re not doing enough,
a useful question to ask
can be
“From whom do I need recognition
or validation?”

Often times,
what makes something “​enough”​
is not what we do,
but knowing how certain people feel
about what we do.

It can sometimes be difficult
to admit
that we need recognition
or validation.

But we all need it
from time to time.

Opposite vs Perpendicular

Posted on by Seung Chan Lim 0

Sometimes,
we pit two concepts
as opposites,
when, in fact,
they are perpendicular.

For example,
if we pit
honesty and kindness
as opposites,
we may feel forced
to choose either or.

But if we pit them
as perpendiculars,
we can aim
to learn a new choice
with which to do both
at the same time.

Slow Progress vs Stuckness

Posted on by Seung Chan Lim 0

Telling someone
who feels stuck
to have more patience and grit
is akin to telling
a drowning person
to keep holding their breath.

There are times
when progress is merely slow.

Then there are times
when we are stuck.

When progress is slow,
our direction need not change.
Thus,
with patience and grit
we can prevail.

But when we are stuck,
we must significantly change direction
—even if momentarily.

The question is
in which direction?

To support someone feeling stuck
may we be there
by their side
to help them learn
the requisite new choice
of direction.

To be a Person

Posted on by Seung Chan Lim 0

The Chinese character
for person (人)
are two strokes
leaning against one another.

As if to signify
that to be a person
is to be there for each other
as each other’s support
at. all. times.

At first,
this seemed
impossible.

After all,
we cannot
actually be there for others
at all times.

…

That is,
until I realized
that others can sense our support
even
in our absence.

Thus,
being there for them
at all times.

…

But then it seemed
unnecessary.

We don’t
actually need
others to be there for us
at all times.

…

That is,
until I realized
that the moment we sense
we have no support whatsoever
is often
when we take
our own lives.

Thus,
needing someone
to be there
at all times.

Trade vs Business

Posted on by Seung Chan Lim 0

One dictionary says,
business
is “the practice
of making one’s living
by engaging in commerce.”

The same dictionary says
trade
is “the action
of buying and selling
goods and services.”

When we first found our companies,
we tend to do business,
because we want
to make our living.

But after a while,
there often comes a point
where we forget to inquire
into the meaning and value
of living,
as we stop doing business
and start trading,
in pursuit of an image
of life.

Suffering

Posted on by Seung Chan Lim 0

Suffering,
signals feeling stuck
without a choice.

To be relieved of suffering,
we need to learn
a new choice.

Often times,
this requires the support
of others.

As new choices often arise
out of a surprising shift
in perspective,
it’s easier
to let others surprise us,
than to surprise us
ourselves.

May we
be such a support.

May we
reach out
for such a support.

Gratitude vs Indebtedness

Posted on by Seung Chan Lim 0

Gratitude
is an emotion.

Indebtedness
is a judgment one makes
on top of gratitude
to inject our being
with a noble burden.

One that whispers
“You must pay this back.
If you don’t,
you’re not good enough.”

A burden
that sometimes leads us
to hyper-empathize
with the person
to whom
we feel indebted.