To appreciate our best
sometimes requires us to let go
of our tendency to judge our best not by I our best
by external best.
Quotes
When conversation begins
Conversation begins
When communication yielda
a result in conflict with our expectation
and we had already learnedly the choice
to appreciate the conflictas an opportunity for innovation
When I…
When I get that job,
I’ll feel happy.
When I hit $100mm ARR,
I’ll feel happy.
When I exit,
I’ll feel happy.
Survival, Byproduct, and Focus
What we do for our survival
isn’t selfish
it’s natural
and normal.
Others might not like it
but it doesn’t make it
selfish
When we help,
we don’t realize we’re focused
on our own pain and discomfort
but it is when and only when
we can relieve ourselves of tension
and be present enough with our pain and discomfort
to have room in our being
to be with another person’s pain and discomfort
that we can serve
and the byproduct of that is we feel fulfilled
but our fulfillment is not the focus
Baby’s Mindset
We say
“kids
learn so much more quickly.”
…
What if
a major difference
between kids
and adults
is that the latter
self-judges
or self-criticizes,
while the former
does not?
The New
When people encounter
something new
or unexpected.
Some
will dislike it.
Because it won’t fit
their expectations.
So to reduce their dissonance,
they’ll come up with ways
to make it fit
by suggesting ways
to fix it.
…
But then
some
will like it.
But they’ll be unable
to articulate
why.
Because it won’t fit
their expectations,
either.
The difference
isthe latter group of people
will imagine a context
in which the new will fit
while the former
will try to fix the new
to fit the existing context.
When there is more of the latter group
than the former,
a new genre
a new platform
a new era
begins.
If there is more of the former group
than the latter
a cult classic
is born.
Regardless,
an artist
makes art
that defies evaluation.
Problem Solving vs Problem Solved
Sometimes
problems are better solved
when we do not try
to problem solve.
Two Sets of Questions
- Why do I lack so much motivation and willpower?
- How can I not feel pain and discomfort?
- What more can I do?
- How can I more effectively communicate my pain to others?
Which leaves the tension unreleased, does nothing to the weight carried
Creates even more tension, adds even more weight
Which will probably create more tension.
Which creates more weight, thus more tension, maybe even trigger our injury
How can I (re)design my thinking process and interactions with people in or around my business, such that I can regularly…
- Restore my energy and vitality.
- Release my tensions.
- Share, offload, or temporarily stash some of the weight I’m carrying.
- Recover from and prevent injuries, or at least minimize the chance of triggering them.
Validation
At first,
I thought I had to do something huge
for my life
to be worth something.
Until I realized
that doing something huge
would still not be enough
unless I could feel
that it was indeed
worth it.
In other words,
what I was after
was a feeling.
…
Once I realized
that validation
was what I was after,
I noticed I lacked clarity
on whose validation I craved
and why.
…
Once I gained clarity
on whose validation I craved
and why,
it turned out
there were only a handful of people
whose validation
I deeply craved.
So I went to them
one by one
to learn how I can provide them
value,
only to learn
how remarkably simple—
not easy, but simple—
it was
to do so.
It was then
that I realized
that at the end of the day,
the most difficult challenge
wasn’t
earning their validation.
The most difficult challenge
was accepting
that my life can have significant worth
without doing something
huge.
Deadline
What I learned in art
is that the work gets done
because there’s an exhibition.
Without an exhibition
the artist can work on their piece
until they’re perfect.
Except
compared to perfection
the work
is never be enough.
The role of an exhibition
is to force us to define
what is “good enough.”