While one may misunderstand them
to mean the same,
there is a world of difference
between
“I may be wrong,
but I’m willing to take responsibility
if I am.”
vs
“I am right,
and I will prove you
wrong.”
Tag: Responsibility
Same vs Different
No two “things”
can ever be
the same.
Especially if we consider
their location
in time
and space.
So when we hear someone say
“it’s the same thing,”
and we disagree,
we have at least
two choices.
We can argue why they’re not
the same.
We can also discover their perspective,
which is focusing on a similarity
between two or more things
that they value enough
to say “it’s the same thing.”
The choice
is ours
and ours only.
May we take responsibility
for our choices.
Beyond Responsibility
“I want to achieve
peace in my family.”
“I want my team members
to be happy.”
“I want …”
While these can be goals,
aspirations,
or expectations,
they cannot be
our responsibility.
Not because we don’t care
or because we have no influence,
but because
responsibility
does not equal
outcome.
What is within our responsibility
is to do our best.
Sometimes our best
does not yield
an outcome
we find satisfying.
Our responsibility lies
is what response we choose
in relation to the outcome
we do not find satisfying.
Founder Mode
What “experts” or “professionals” may not get
about Paul Graham’s essay
is that it’s _primarily_ an act
of permission-giving.
The details of the essay
matters much less.
Many founders have felt pressured
by “experts” or “professionals” telling them
how to run their own companies.
It matters less
whether the advice came from VCs
with no experience running a company
or from Founders
with much experience running a company.
The fact of the matter is
what worked in context A
doesn’t always work
in context B.
That’s the limitation
of _advice-giving_
itself.
Paul’s essay
is making it ok for founders to say
“no thanks,”
to “expert” or “professional” advice.
To go at it
“my way,”
for better
or for worse.
That’s much needed permission
for the Founders who have felt pressured
to follow “expert” or “professional” advice.
To be clear,
this is also a reminder
that when something isn’t working
we can either take responsibility
for doing what we believe
is right
or abdicate responsibility
by doing what others believe
is right,
because we’re either
afraid of being wrong
or feel helpless
without a choice.
…
For the “experts” or “professionals,”
Paul’s essay is an invitation
to also learn how to help
without giving advice.
Without resorting to
telling people what to do,
but instead
working with them
to create something neither
could have created
alone.
Developmental Grain
Development
has a grain
as do
a piece
of wood.
May we take responsibility
for supporting someone
in alignment with their developmental grain
instead of staying stuck blaming them
for our own lack of insight
into their developmental grain.
Love
We say
that when we love someone
we want
what’s best for them.
What we don’t say,
but mean,
is that we may even want to make sure
they get the best.
So much so
that we may personally feel responsible
for giving them
the best.
Even if it means making ourselves vulnerable
to feeling ashamed,
when we inevitably realize
that we are unable
to fulfill our responsibility.
Not because we did not
or could not give
enough,
but because our heart knows no limits
on how much
to give them.
Making a Choice
Sometimes
we hear people say
“But I cannot simply choose
to be some way!”
Indeed.
Making a choice
does not mean change
is necessarily
imminent.
It merely signifies
the first step
of a journey.
But a journey
with a commitment.
A journey
with intention.
A journey
that starts by us taking
responsibility.
Taking Responsibility for Hate
Just as
taking responsibility
is not the same
as accepting
blame.
Taking responsibility
is not the same
as tolerating
hate.
When we have done something
we regret
we may take responsibility
for our past
and future actions.
While simultaneously inviting others
to take responsibility
for their own hate
of our mistakes.
Decision Maker
The decision
can only be made
by the decision
maker.
No matter how much we dislike
the decision made,
the responsibility of decision making
lies solely
with the decision
maker.
In much the same way,
the decision we make
in response to other’s decisions
is our responsibility.
Hiring & Being Hired
If we have an outcome
we want to see happen
by hiring,
not merely a job description
to match,
may we take responsibility
for clarifying and communicating
what that is.
If we wish to fulfill the purpose
for having been hired
instead of merely offering skills
and completing tasks,
may we take responsibility
for discovering and clarifying
what outcome
we were hired
to realize.