What if Irony is Judging Others for Lacking Empathy?
When we feel
isolated,
we can also feel
lost.
We think
‘After all,
if I’m the only one
on this path,
who‘s to say
I’m not lost?’
…
When we feel
lost
traveling a path
of our own choice
we can also feel
ashamed.
We think
‘If I got lost
by going my way
then clearly
it’s my fault
and something
is wrong
with me.’
“Am I stubborn?”
asked the founder.
“Your thought process
is constantly being
interrupted.”
I responded.
“What do you mean?”
he asked,
looking puzzled.
“For you
to change your mind,
you have to think things through,
right?”
I asked.
“Yes, of course.”
he answered.
“But if people around you
are only telling you
what they think,
your thought process
can constantly get
interrupted.”
I continued.
“Unless a space is created,
where you can think through things
without being interrupted
you will be unlikely
to change your mind.”
I remarked.
What you want
may not be
what you want,
the moment others,
whose validation you crave,
don’t want it,
too.
To better understand
what you want,
it can be useful
to find what you like
that others,
whose validation you crave,
don’t want.
The Chinese character
for a human being (人)
are two strokes
supporting
one another.
What if
it is difficult
to be human
without support?
What if
our blaming of others
for behaving less than human
only isolates them
further,
making it even harder
for them
to be human?
What if…?
What if
we’re too busy
helping
…
to realize
that we
need help?
What if
we’re too busy
wanting
…
to realize
that we already
have it?
What if
we’re too busy
persuading
…
to realize
that we need only
ask for it.
People often think
greed
is wanting more.
Greed
may also indicate
a lack of clarity
around what we really
want.
Because a lack of clarity
around what we really want
can often breed anxiety
around a perpetual sense
of not having enough.
After all,
how can we have enough
of what we don’t know
we want?
We know
we should be
more kind.
We know
we should be
more understanding.
We know
we should be
more present.
What’s difficult
is being this way
when we feel
that others
are not being this way
with us.
When people say
“I feel uncertain.”
The temptation
is to say something clever,
like
“There was never a time
that was certain.”
As true
as that may be,
that can shut down
a valuable opportunity
for innovation,
where we can support their reflection
on what negative outcome
feels certain.
“How many startups
have you founded?”
I asked.
“This
is my 3rd.”
she answered.
“That
could not have been
easy.” I said.
“It’s like
having kids.”
she replied
without hesitation.
“When you have them,
you tell yourself
‘never again!’”
she continued
smiling.
“But somehow
you forget that
and before you know it
you’re having
another one.”
The root
of “wisdom”
is “weid-,”
“to see.”
When we realize empathy,
we connect
our experience
with that
of another.
Experiences
we did not know
to connect.
And it is in that instant,
we come to see
something
we previously
did not.
If Steve is right
that creativity
is coming to see something
others
could not
by connecting
experiences,
then perhaps realizing empathy
is creativity
imbued with the wisdom
of love.
