Being vs Having

Sometimes
we speak
as if we are
others.

“I am sad”
vs
“I am feeling sadness”

“I am a CEO”
vs
“I play the role of a CEO”

“I am fit”
vs
“I have a fit body”

Perhaps we speak this way
out of habit.

Perhaps we speak this way
when we hyper-empathize.

No matter the reason,
it’s worth creating
distinctions
and boundaries with them,
so we can empathize.

Validating Others

It can be hard
to validate others
when it seems as though
validating them
means
invalidating
ourselves.

It can be crucial
to ask yourself
whether it is true
that validating others
means
invalidating ourselves,
or
that we simply cannot see
the situation
in such a way
that validatings others
need not mean
invalidating
ourselves.

Expectations

“I hate the fact
that the only way I can feel better
in my co-founder relationship
is to think of my co-founder
as an employee.”
said the founder.

“What do you mean?”
I asked.

“I have to lower my expectations.”
the founder answered.

“Lower how?”
I asked

“That he may not be able to support me
the way I want him
to support me.”

It’s OK

“I thought
that all my problems would be solved

once I raised enough
money.” he said.

“I thought
that all my problems would be solved

once I hired enough
experts.” he continued.

“I thought
that all my problems would be solved

once I achieved enough
annual revenue.” he let out a sigh.

“I have no more excuses.
All this time,
I have been lying to myself.”
he remarked.

“It’s OK.
We all lie to ourselves
from time
to time.