Realizing Empathy | Blog

Sometimes
all it takes
is to admit
I need you
Help me
I cannot do this
alone.

When others resist
or reject our actions
inspired by our compassion,
we may judge them
for being insecure,
blinded by our own good intentions
without seeing how we contribute
to fueling their insecurity

When we realize
that our pain
matters
to other people
not in the sense
that they care about us
or they have compassion for us
but in the sense
that we’re not the only one
whose experiencing this pain
and by me experiencing pain
others’ pain can be alleviated
we start to rise from the pain
with a sense of purpose.

Suspending disbelief
open us up
to imagine
without believing.

And if we have trouble imagining
we can seek support
just as artists do
from the very material with which
we’re trying to imagine
by asking them questions
and working with them
to see what we can learn from them.

Often times,
what we need
is a story,
based on facts,
with which we can
realize empathy

As long as the story is based on facts,
whether that story is actually the reason
or not is less important.

What matters is that
we can understand and appreciate
why
in a way that depersonalizes us
(if the reason why certain stories are not acceptable or hanunting us is
because it personalizes us
it faults us.

The story right now is mom left me because she thought I was worthless
if I can appreciate her story of how much fear she felt of the thought of raising a child,
then I can understand,

but appreciation has to come first
not understanding

because even if we understand that someone is doing something because they’re insecure
without appreciation of the insecurity
we can easily judge the insecurity
as a weapon to say “well, they shouldn’t be so insecure if they’re CEO!”