What if Irony is Judging Others for Lacking Empathy?
I cannot believe
it’s been 10 years
since the publication
of my book.
To celebrate this occasion
and to share my work more broadly,
I’m launching a 10-part series
of short writings (mostly 1 pagers)
on empathy.
Click here to gain access at free-of-charge.
This is a work-
in-progress.
You can comment on it
so as to influence my direction
The first 6 parts
have already been published.
I plan to publish the other 4
throughout the year.
When using
a table saw,
there is the danger
of severing
our fingers.
What’s remarkable
is that so long as we have
a clear understanding of the danger
in using the table saw
many of us find it sufficient
to work up the courage
to engage with it
despite the danger,
instead of staying stuck
in the thought
of severing our fingers
which merely gives rise
to fear.
When someone judges us
a “difficult
case,”
it can be easy
to blame ourselves
for being
a “difficult,
case.”
While this may mean
there is something extraordinary
about us,
it also means
that someone with greater skills
will not not judge us
a “difficult
case.”
p.s: This was inspired by a meeting with a doctor who called my wife a “difficult case,” while asking her to work with another doctor with more experience and skill. An unfortunately common case of compassion without empathy, displayed by many of us, including yours truly, when we take on the role of caregiving.
Sometimes
arrogance can arise
in the presence
of another person
whom
we distrust.
What if
“imposter syndrome”
is less our lack
of competence,
and more our lack
of information
of how others
really
are.
Season 2
of “The Journey of Realizing Empathy”
is now live.
In our inaugural episode,
we host Priya Amin,
former Founder and CEO
of Flexable.
During COVID,
Priya had to close Flexable down
both because of financial strain
and her own personal burnout.
In this episode,
we explore her inquiry
into being more compassionate with herself
as she moves through the next phase
of her entrepreneurial
journey.
Let the conversation
begin.
It can be useful
to think of intuition
as a guide.
A guide does not claim
to have the right
answer.
A guide merely claims
to know something
worthy
of paying
attention.
We may choose
to ignore the guide.
We may also choose
to follow the guide
and learn what the guide
knows.
But may we not
blame the guide
for our decisions.
The guide never claimed
to have the right
answer.
When expectation
is fulfilled
there is no
surprise.
When expectation
is violated
there is
surprise
and frustration.
When hope
Is realized
there is
surprise
and gratitude.
When hope
is unrealized
there is no
surprise.
When we give advice,
we often offer
an outcome.
“Have courage.”
“Forgive.”
“Be patient.”
…
All outcomes
that arise
from a process.
…
Instead of giving advice,
what if we were to ask
questions?
“What would you need
right now
to feel
courage?”
“What is it
that makes it difficult
for you
to forgive?”
“What pain arises
when you seek to practice
patience?”
Questions
that guide people
through
the process.