Sometimes
a vicious cycle
starts,
unintended,
when we take responsibility
for others’ happiness.
Sometimes
a virtuous cycle
starts,
ironically,
when we take responsibility
for our own happiness.
Will you be there?
At first,
the question
may seem like
“Do you share
my interests?”
But later,
a question just as important
may be
“Will you be there
to support me
when I fall?”
Being Right vs Making Right
When
we disagree with someone
we can intend
to be right
by telling them
they’re wrong
or
we can intend
to make them right
by connecting their words
to a context in which
they’re right.
The option to do
either
is almost always
there.
May we ask ourselves
why we choose
one
over
the other.
Decision vs Integration
Sometimes
we think we have to decide
one
over the other.
As if to approach decision-making
as a problem
to be solved.
But when we approach decision-making
as a paradox
to be dissolved,
we may realize
that we need not decide
one
over the other,
because the two
can become
one
through integration.
Replaceable
There are leaders
under whom we feel
replaceable.
Not because they want us
replaced,
but because they focus
on whether we do well
or poorly.
Planting within us the idea
that our job
is to meet their
expectation.
…
There are also leaders
under whom we feel
needed.
Not only because they need us,
but because they tell us
vulnerably so
that
they need us.
That they cannot do this
by themselves.
That they need
our help.
Planting within us the idea
that our job
is to be
our best.
Thanks to Connie Chun
who inspired this post.
Fear of Jumping
What if
the fear we feel
at the end of a cliff
is less the fear
of falling
and more
that we will choose
to jump?
That the fear
comes less
from the actual danger
and more
from the lack of faith
in ourselves
to make the right
decision?
That we’ll be left
with nobody to blame
but ourselves?
Numbing
Judgment
Recovery
Recovery
is what fuels growth
not
hard work.
Hard work
is necessary
but insufficient.
The Feeling of Support
While we may think
that we’re providing autonomy
for the employees’ benefit,
our employees
can actually feel
left alone
without support.
While we may think
that we’re expressing our concern
for the company’s benefit
our employers
can actually feel
uncared for
without support.
…
Support
is an event.
Just
as the confidence of an engineer
does not guarantee
whether the structure they built
is supportive,
our intention to support
does not guarantee
that support
happens.