Micro-Innovation by Ravit, a Check-in Agent at United Airlines

I’m writing to express my gratitude to Ravit at the United check-in counter inside Tel Aviv, Israel‘s Ben Gurion Airport.

I hope Ravit gets the recognition she deserves. I can’t remember the last time I met a check-in agent so vivacious and, dare I say, fun to interact with.

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While my trip to Israel had been inspiring, I was tired nonetheless. I could not wait to get back home. Until I encountered Ravit, my energy was low. I was also grumpy that I could not check in at the kiosk just because I wanted to check a bag. From the first interaction, Ravit joked with me in a tone so playful and warm that I could not help, but laugh along. Her presence was like an oasis to an otherwise dried-up state of mind. So much so that I was grateful that I did not check in at the kiosk. I felt restored and refreshed after our interaction. I cannot tell you how much I appreciated that.

Facing people as an agent at the check-in counter while being true to a personality so vivacious and playful is not an easy thing to do. Especially when everyone else in the airport seems so serious and stern (This is not a criticism. I know it is well warranted given how serious the security situation is in Israel). Not only that, but given the kinds of struggles many people experience at the airport, I wouldn’t be surprised if she has experienced people who respond to her energy in negative ways. All this means it would have been much safer for Ravit to express no emotions and instead focus on getting her task done. But no, Ravit was willing to be vulnerable enough to be herself and treat me as a human being, not merely a task to be completed.

Thank you Ravit for your willingness to bring brightness and positivity to a world that is often biased toward darkness and negativity. I consider your actions a good example of the kind of micro-innovation I hope to see more in the world. May you continue to bring joy to the lives of people with whom you come in contact.

 

UPDATE:

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Give vs Lend

We say we have
given.

Be it our care,
time,
or money, …

Yet, sometimes
we tightly hold on
to the memory
of having given.

If we’re not merely
remembering,
but holding on
to the memory
of having given,
then perhaps we have lent,
not given.

False Dilemma

A trap we often fall into is “either/or” thinking.

Someone professes their pain, we think they mean our pain is less. Not necessarily.
Someone says their achievement is great, we think they mean our achievement is less. Not necessarily.
Someone says something they have is worth much, we think they mean something we have is worth less. Not necessarily.

As the saying goes, it’s easy to judge others by their behaviors while judging ourselves by our intentions.
It can be difficult to realize our empathy so as to understand what others intend to mean over what we think they mean.

Yet, this can save us a ton of time and energy in the end.

Realizing Empathy can be Difficult

Empathy realizing by itself is easy.
Realizing empathy, on the other hand, can be difficult.

Sometimes this is difficult due to a bias or a lack awareness.
But that’s not all.
What can also make it difficult is tension.

Tension is a conflict between what our mind needs or values vs what it has instead.

When we experience too much tension, we can become mired in the discomfort or pain.
In this state, we have no room in our being to realize our empathy.

When two people are experiencing significant tension, without the help of a 3rd-party—not only free of significant tension, but also well-versed in the art of realizing empathy—, it is unlikely the two will be able to realize empathy with each other.

Let us not confuse concern with love.

Let us not confuse concern with love.

There’s nothing wrong with feeling concern for the people we love. At the same time, concern arises out of fear, not love. Yes, concern can be fueled by care, but care is not love.

It’s worth asking ourselves if desires like “I want my employees to perform better” or “I want my students to be successful,” are born out of fear or love.

The kinds of design that emerge out of repressed and unidentified fear can be unhelpful to others at best and harmful at its worst.

Do People Change?

We often say “People don’t change.”

What we mean is people don’t change the way we want them to change.

People change the way they are motivated to change.

One of the quickest ways to feel frustrated is to coerce other people to change based on our own value system.

One of the most effective ways of sustaining that frustration is to rationalize why our own value system should be universal.

Gift of Permission

I once told my mother, “You’ve lived a life of sacrifice. It’s time you lived for yourself.” She tells me this was a gift: a gift of permission.

As leaders, we often feel pressured to do things for others. It’s our way of being good, caring leaders.
We may also feel that unless we fulfill others’ expectations, we’re not good or good enough.

But what if these pressures and expectations are self-imposed?

Self-imposed notions of “good” or “caring” may be unappreciated—even resented—by others. Thus, “live for yourself” is an invitation, not to be selfish, but to be relieved of the pressure to satisfy false or unrealistic expectations. It is to make room in our relationship for realizing empathy.

As We Mature

We tend to think that people our parents’ age are already mature.

I once coached a CEO in her late 60s.
She’d bring up what her deceased mother did to her decades ago.
She so wanted, but struggled, to empathize with her.

During our sessions, what helped her empathize was to surface new subtleties and nuances in her mother’s situation.
Things that gave her mother’s behaviors new meaning.

As psychologist Lewis Lipsitt says “we mature when what we once assumed to know takes on more subtlety and nuance, thus changing in meaning.

She was maturing.

Maturation is not about aging.
It’s about making new meaning from our past so as to move forward with fresh eyes.
Sometimes this softens our pain.
Sometimes it lets us weep.

As we mature.

Micro-Innovation by Erica, a Flight Attendant at American Airlines

I’d like to express my sincere gratitude and appreciation to Erica Bird (maybe Erika Byrd: pictured below), a flight attendant on this morning’s American Airlines flight AA3611.

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From the get go she was very considerate.
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I have a backpack that turned out to be ever so slightly big for the overhead cabin. Putting it under my seat meant I would be squeezed. I wondered if I should go back to gate check it. The first thing she asked was whether I had a connecting flight. She showed consideration for my time constraints! (It can take a while to retrieve gate checked bags) Most would have just told me to go ahead and gate check it. I would have been fine with that, but the fact that she showed consideration was meaningful to me.

She then asked me to hold on to my bag for a bit. I soon realized that she was considering the possibility that I may be able to stow it under the seat next to me in case nobody showed up. I did eventually luck out because nobody sat next to me! The co-creation that happened between her and I was very valuable to me. What a beautiful example of a micro-innovation!
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What blew me away the most was when she later came by with her cart to give out snacks and beverages. She said “Hello Mr. Lim.” I was taken aback for a second. I’ve never had a flight attendant greet me by my name on a coach flight (par for the course when I fly business, yes.) It turns out she learns every passenger’s last name beforehand! I don’t know if I just haven’t flown American in a long time or if Erica is unique. Regardless, I appreciated her efforts so much.
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In my mind, it’s these small things one does to show respect and consideration for another human being in a business context that sets apart one employee or a brand from another. I do not wish to take them for granted.
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I hope Erica gets the recognition she deserves.
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Thank you, Erica!

UPDATE: Thank you American Airlines!