Some give gifts
based on their projection
of value.
Something expensive
Something rare
Something ??
The receiver appreciates gifts
based on what they value
but have difficulty attaining.
Something they wouldnt pay that much for
Something
Leading
When we use the word
lead
let us be clear
what it is
we are leading.
If we are leading
people.
Then let us be explicit
that what we mean by
lead
Is leading
people.
Not money.
Not decisions.
Not strategies.
People.
Yes,
we need
money
decisions
strategies
to lead
people.
But those are the means
not the end.
May we remebmer that.
Validation
At first,
I thought I had to do something huge
for my life
to be worth something.
Until I realized
that doing something huge
would still not be enough
unless I could feel
that it was indeed
worth it.
In other words,
what I was after
was a feeling.
…
Once I realized
that validation
was what I was after,
I noticed I lacked clarity
on whose validation I craved
and why.
…
Once I gained clarity
on whose validation I craved
and why,
it turned out
there were only a handful of people
whose validation
I deeply craved.
So I went to them
one by one
to learn how I can provide them
value,
only to learn
how remarkably simple—
not easy, but simple—
it was
to do so.
It was then
that I realized
that at the end of the day,
the most difficult challenge
wasn’t
earning their validation.
The most difficult challenge
was accepting
that my life can have significant worth
without doing something
huge.
Misunderstanding Employees
When employees
frustrate us,
we at least have the option
to either blame their incompetence
or support them
to fully utilize their competence.
When we think they’re disrespecting us
they may simply be stalling trying to satisfy us by doing something on their own instead of simply asking for help
The Cycle
I want you
to be happy.
I want you
to be happy.
Don’t you know
that I do?
Why don’t you know
that I do?
What must I do
so you’ll know?
Why must you
continue
to hurt me?
Empathy, the word
The word empathy
was originally invented to explain
why we can feel connected
to something or someone
with whom we perceive to have
distance
or
boundary.
Sometimes
such boundary blurring
or distance closing
can yield positive outcomes
Other times
not so much.
Empathy
is neither good
nor bad.
It is simply
an explanation.
The responsibility lies
with each
and every one of us
Why we sound crazy
When others
cannot understand what we’re saying
or doing
we can,
to them,
sound.
‘t their fault.
I couldn’t even understand myself,
so how could I expect more from others?
But then I met people
who understood me
better than I could understand
myself.
Without them
I would not be here.
If you are feeling
depressed and anxious
I want you to know
that it’s not your fault.
Nor is it the fault of those around you.
You sought validation.
Only to realize
that others
think you’re crazy.
…
Here’s the thing.
Both you
and others
are not
wrong.
The reason why others think you’re crazy
is because they cannot
empathize with you.
They cannot empathize with you,
because they don’t know how.
You’re not helping, either,
because you’re not communicating well.
You’re not communicating well,
because you don’t know
what you’re talking about.
You don’t know what you’re talking about,
not because you’re incompetent,
or stupid,
but because you haven’t reflected enough.
That’s not your fault.
When we’re alone,
it’s very easy
to confuse rumination
with reflection.
May we remember
that reflection
requires a particular kind
of relationship.
May we not let others convince us
that we’re crazy.
May we develop a relationship
where we can reflect.
/wy p
Am I Doing Enough?
Sometimes
asking ourselves
am I doing enough
may mean
that we dont have enough trust
in the people around us
to do their share.
Some results need to be achived
and if we are not the one who can achieve those results
but they can only be achieved through others
or we’d rather have others achieve those results
So the question isn’t am I doing enough
the question is
who can I entrust to do something
that I am not doing
or I am not good at doing
or I do not want to do.
Rejection
What cold outreach taught me
was that what people are doing
is not rejecting me.
What they are doing
is saying things to me.
It is I who choose
to interpret their words
as rejection
or as something else.
From their perspective,
they may be feeling misunderstood
take advantage of, etc…
Method vs Context
Sometimes,
we think our method of communication
sucks.
Maybe.
But before the method
there is
relationship.
It is in the relationship,
where emotions
such as trust
reside.
If the relationship is sound,
the method can matter
less.
If the relationship is unsound
the method