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Rejection
What cold outreach taught me
was that what people are doing
is not rejecting me.
What they are doing
is saying things to me.
It is I who choose
to interpret their words
as rejection
or as something else.
From their perspective,
they may be feeling misunderstood
take advantage of, etc…
Listening
Some psychologists
claim they know
how to listen.
Perhaps.
But I learned to listen
not from psychologists,
but from artists.
Craftsmen
listening to their materials
Actors
listening to
Musicians.
If one thinks
they know how to listen
as psychologists do,
we are missing so much of it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pn1f5bx5dAY
Respecting vs Expecting – Part 2
If to respect,
is to see
anew,
expect is to see
as formerly seen.
When we respect someone,
we don’t blame them
for not doing what we wanted them to do
we remind them
that they did not do what they know they can do.
Need vs Form
If we do
or say things
to fulfill a need,
then we form our objects,
organizations,
and rituals
to fulfill that need.
Yet,
the words,
the behaviors,
and the forms of our objects
and organizations
can mislead us,
if we fail to comprehend
and appreciate
the underlying needs
that shaped it.
Tis
how easily
dogma
is born.
How to Motivate
When speaking of
others
we ask
how can we motivate them?
When I ask
how do you motivate
yourself?
They say
I dont need
motivation
or I dont wait
for motivation.
What makes you think
others
are different?
Ignorance, Disgust, Fear
We have trouble realizing empathy
because we
aren’t aware (even if we may know)
don’t want to (disgust)
or we are too afraid. (fear)
Advice Giving
There is advice
that is accepted.
Then there is advice
that is rejected.
The former
dissolves the paradox
in the other person’s mind.
The latter
merely solves the problem
as defined
by the advice giver.
Fixing vs Creating
Sometimes
we spend so much time and energy
fixing
what we deem
broken
that we miss the opportunity
to create
something wholly
different.
Like that time
when we spent
Method vs Context
Sometimes,
we think our method of communication
sucks.
Maybe.
But before the method
there is
relationship.
It is in the relationship,
where emotions
such as trust
reside.
If the relationship is sound,
the method can matter
less.
If the relationship is unsound
the method
Boundary & Distance
Empathy
is why we can connect
across boundaries
and distance.
Connect with people far away
Connect with people’s minds despite the boundary of skin
Connect with our emotions, we’ve stashed deep inside
Connect with our thoughts