What if Irony is Judging Others for Lacking Empathy?
Sometimes
we see men
calling women
“emotional,”
when it may be more accurate
to call them
emotionally aware
or emotionally
open.
Sometimes
we see women
accuse men
of “suffering less,”
when it may be more accurate
to accuse them
of numbing themselves
or pretending
to be fine.
Sometimes
we complain that our advice falls
on deaf ears.
If so
it may be worth discerning
the kind of problem
to which we’re giving
advice.
One type of problem
is a dilemma.
A dilemma arises
when we want to catch two birds
with one stone.
If our advice to someone with a dilemma
is to kill
just one bird.
The likelihood
of that advice falling on deaf ears
is high.
The decision
can only be made
by the decision
maker.
No matter how much we dislike
the decision made,
the responsibility of decision making
lies solely
with the decision
maker.
In much the same way,
the decision we make
in response to other’s decisions
is our responsibility.
Sometimes
telling someone to calm down
is like telling someone who has to pee
to hold it in.
Other times
telling someone to calm down
is like telling someone who is already peeing
to hold it in.
Not being ill
does not always equal
being healthy.
Having abundance
does not always equal
having wholeness.
Not doing wrong
does not always equal
doing good.
Many partnerships
be it co-founders,
spouses,
or others,
end
in not so amicable terms
due a deterioration
of trust
and respect.
Before that happens,
it’s worth asking ourselves
do we even trust
and respect each other
now?
By trust,
I don’t mean considering their competence
reliable.
I mean do we trust
that they’ll be by our side
to support us
when we
are at our worst?
By respect,
I don’t mean
appreciating their competence.
I mean can we see value in them
over
and over
and over again,
at will.
So much so
that we can see this
even when they’re at
their worst.
Enough to remind them
of their own self-worth
that they themselves
have forgotten.
Just as
an olympic athlete
is not an altruist
for contributing a gold medal
for the country they represent.
We need not be altruistic
to make significant contributions
to others
or the world at large.
To those
who carry the burden.
The small business CEOs,
responsible for paying their employees’
salaries.
The parents,
responsible for their children’s
well-being.
The operating room doctors,
responsible for their patients’
lives.
To all those
who have experienced the weight
of responsibility on their shoulders.
You may be feeling the pressure
to meet expectations.
You may be blaming yourself
day after day
for failing to meet
expectations.
But may you never lose
the certainty
and confidence in yourself.
May you never doubt
your self-worth
or whether you’re working hard enough.
Because your life
is worthy of respect
exactly as they are.
While others may see you
challenged,
I see greatness.
Just
as the great mountains and valleys
are mere residues
of nature
under pressure and weight.
Great lives
are mere residues
of our will to sustain life
under pressure and weight.
p.s: This was inspired by my wife’s work and her comparison of nature’s work under pressure and weight and an artist’s work under pressure and weight.
p.p.s: I also made a video version of this narrated by AI.
In our fourth episode of the season, we host Chris Prange-Morgan, Author of “Broken, Brave and Bittersweet.”
Chris wants to tell her story in way that does not make her feel selfish. While she is not our typical Founder guest, I know many Founders who go through the same struggle when sharing their story. So in this episode, we explore Chris’ inquiry into this challenge of telling our story.
Sometimes
we think the reason why
we feel anxiety
is because of the burden we feel
to keep our promise
to our investors.
But upon realizing empathy,
with ourselves
or our investors,
we may realize
that it may actually be
because we judge ourselves
as less capable
of carrying the burden
than others.
