Most of us were trained
to problem solve.
Many also assume—
incorrectly—
that problem solving
is the best form of help
we can offer.
Such training and assumption
can serve us well
and poorly.
Because sometimes—
despite our best intentions—
problem solving
makes things worse.
If you’ve been accused
of being selfish,
lacking empathy,
or not caring,
despite your best efforts
to help your spouse
by solving their problem
you know what I mean.
When problem solving
makes things worse,
may we return
to our intention to help,
so as to learn
new choices.
Choices
that are actually helpful.
Choices
that improve things.
Choices
other than
problem solving.